What to do when you become your Dog’s “Special Friend”


Why does my dog hump me and no one else?

Owning a dog, especially from puppyhood, is one of the most rewarding things you can experience. They’re not called “Man’s Best Friend” for nothing, but sometimes your little furry friend can take that friendship a little too far, especially if you choose not to spay or neuter them. Much like cats get in heat, dogs can feel this to an extreme. Since you are their owner, their pride, and their joy, sometimes they’ll take out some of that love on you. It’s great that they feel that way, but you only see them as a friend, especially if you’re lying on the couch or trying to eat dinner. I speak from experience, because I myself once owned not one, but two extremely infatuated puppies, and using these tricks and tips helped teach him that there were plenty more fish in the sea or rather stuffed animals.

The Psychology

Before I mention the solutions it’s important to understand a bit of puppy psychology, even if their brain’s going a million miles an hour sometimes. Much like a human baby, a puppy’s first year of its life is extremely important to its development. From the minute you (hopefully) adopted them to watching them outgrow 3 collars in a month, your puppy is growing both physically and mentally. You, their owner, best friend, and in essence God, play the biggest role in your puppy’s development.

Dogs are what are known as pack animals, meaning that they live the healthiest lives amongst other dogs. You probably know that dogs came from wolves, which are a classic example of a pack animal. In a pack, there is typically an alpha who protects the mothers, the elders, and the puppies by finding food and warding off threats. When your puppy was born, you likely adopted them alone and did not adopt the mother with them (if you did kudos to you – you kept one more dog off the street). Now, imagine if you were a baby and right after birth you have pulled away from your mother and raised by someone who was 10x your size, made food magically appear in front of you, and gave you belly rubs any time you rolled over. Your life would be pretty sweet, right? This is in essence what you’ve done for your puppy, and needless to say, they are extremely loyal to you because of the care you provide. You have now become your dog’s Alpha.

Another thing to understand is that a dog’s life cycle is much more rapid than a human’s. Humans usually don’t need to hear the birds and the bees until they are about 12 years old, that’s almost retirement age in dog years. When your puppy reaches about 9 months old, they are according to some sources equivalent to a 12-year-old human child, or rather teenager. I don’t know about you but when I was that age some stuff definitely, powered on, to stay the least. Needless to say, this is happening to your puppy. Couple this with the fact that you are their one and only owner, your dog might want to start getting busy with you.

Now that you know what’s going on in that chaotic little brain of theirs, let’s take a look at some ways to alleviate their urges and teach them that no means no.

The Solution

The first and most obvious way to cut down on your dog’s escapades is to spay or neuter them. However, it’s understandable that this is sometimes not an option. Some people have moral reservations or simply cannot afford the procedure. Check with your local humane society if they spay or neuter adopted pets, they will sometimes do it free of charge or at a discount if you adopted the dog from there. Most humane societies I know will also neuter their newfound residents as soon as they are found, but if you found yourself in this article this likely did not happen. In fact, one of the puppies I had raised was completely fixed, but would still try to do it like on the Discovery Channel every chance he got.

This brings me to my next solution and one that will probably cost as much as the first: finding him a new special friend. Of course, I’m talking about dog toys. Most dogs, especially puppies, are picky about their toys, after all, they are the stud here. You should have a sizeable budget saved up so you can present a whole harem of friends to your puppy, and hopefully one of them will stick. If you can’t have a whole toy bucket, use some old stuffed animals you don’t care about. One of my dogs used an old Shamu plushie I won at SeaWorld, and the other used a red jalepeño pepper. Yeah, you can imagine what that looked like.

Finally, and the best option long term is to properly train your dog not to come onto you (and hopefully not the other come). This takes by far the most time but will pay off the best. The simplest and most effective way is, whenever your dog starts to get frisky, quickly pick them up, sit them down, and loudly and firmly say “NO” to them. This will get annoyingly repetitive, but this is how puppies learn. Another thing is to stay on surfaces higher than they can jump to. If you have a spasmatic dachshund this can be a challenge, but will also help in training. They’ll beg, they’ll whimper, but you must be firm. It took me almost a month to break one of my dogs of this habit, but he hasn’t done it since.

Conclusion

To answer the age-old question, why does my dog hump me and no one else, you need to realize that you are your dog’s alpha and that they reach breeding age much earlier than you might think. In order to combat this problem, you can either spay or neuter your dog, find him a toy for him to use instead or train him to not mount you. Regardless, if you found this article helpful please feel free to leave a comment down below.

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